Archive for the 'Techniques' Category
Dealing with Social Anxiety One Technique at a Time
January 22nd, 2007 by Ryan Oelke
One challenge that I have continually faced in dealing with social anxiety is finding consistent time to devote to techniques, journaling, and reflecting. Of course, I regularly deal with social anxiety in my life and so I am working on things in the midst of life, but I have found that social anxiety really does take giving specific time to simply pause and reflect. Finding the time to do that has been difficult for me. School, work, projects, relationships, and so on end up taking priority. Also, I have other practices too, exercise and spiritual specifically. This semester - I tend to mark periods of time in semesters, professional student you know:P - I am focusing on one technique and one technique only: 15 minutes a day of slow talk is my goal. Small, achievable, and effective. Too often I would get frustrated with my lack of consistency that I would just give up altogether. In reality, I was setting too high of expectations for myself. I’m hoping that setting a smaller goal and focusing on only technique will really help me in my life. I chose slow talk because, as Shawn said, like many folks with SAD I talk very fast and at times it really feeds into my anxiety. On the other hand, speaking slowly makes me feel much more relaxed and less anxious. When I speak fast there’s more of a chance of me saying something or speaking in a manner that makes me more anxious. Whereas when I speak more slowly I feel more confident. So, I’ll see where this leads and be sure to share with you.
What has your experience been like in working with social anxiety admist the busyiness of life?
More on Writing to Cope
January 11th, 2007 by Aaron
After writing last week’s post, I decided to keep up with the writing practice and see where it took me. Each night since then I’ve set aside an hour to write on anxiety. As before, I wrote quickly, not allowing myself time to reflect on what I was writing.
It’s been an interesting experience.
Tonglen and SA
December 15th, 2006 by dashh
I wanted to share with you all a technique that I have found very helpful recently in dealing with social anxiety and our fears. The technique or practice is actually a type of meditation taught and practiced in Tibetan Buddhism. It is called tonglen. The word tonglen literally means “sending and taking” in Tibetan. Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, explains the practice as follows:
Replacing Defense Mechanisms (and Other Anxiety Quirks)
November 6th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
After commenting on Aaron’s post, “It’s Only Life“, I thought I’d elaborate what I said in this post. When we become aware of our defense mechanisms, avoidance behaviors, irrational thought patterns, and in general, our “anxiety quirks”, it’s natural to want to stop them. However, I believe we must be cautious in doing so because we not only need to stop them but develop healthier habits to replace them. All our psychological quirks serve various purposes, but in sum they keep us together in the healthiest way possible.
How I Progress
November 2nd, 2006 by Aaron
Triggered by my last post, and Ryan’s insightful comment to it, I’ve remembered a few tricks that have really helped me in the past but that I seem to have lost touch with lately.
The first is a mantra: slow and steady progress.
Social Anxiety and the Physical Environment
October 30th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
Last week I shared a little exercise I thought of to help differentiate which preferences are personal and which are due to social anxiety. In other words, some of our choices and decisions are our own and some serve our social anxiety. This week I thought I would give an example using the physical environment, meaning the different types of physical contexts we find ourselves in.
Two aspects of physical environments that I take note of are the size of the room and how many people are there. For me this comes up specifically in my educational experiences. Personally, I prefer small classes in small rooms because of the intimacy it affords the learning experience. As for my social anxiety, it prefers large classrooms and lots of people so that I can get lost in the mix, and so I feel “safer”. Read the rest of this entry »
Personal Preferences vs. Social Anxiety Preferences
October 23rd, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
Here’s an exercise that I thought of, one that might help you differentiate what preferences are your personality, or related to your typology, and which are solely due to your experience of social anxiety, habits you’ve built over time. In my post on typology I suggested that over many years we can develop a confusion about what is us and what is your social anxiety alter ego, which causes us existential frustration and further anxiety.
One way to explore this is to take a piece of paper and on the left side, list vertically different areas and aspects of life, such as social gatherings, hobbies, physical environment, interests, etc. Divide the paper into two columns, labeling one “Personal Preferences” and the other “Social Anxiety Preferences”. In the personal column describe what is ideal from your own preferences, free from anxiety. In the social anxiety column describe what your anxiety wants in respect to those different areas of life. Take note of the differences and similarities between the two columns, your personal preferences and what you do when you are social anxious.
What realizations and feelings arise when you compare the two? What other areas could be listed?
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