Archive for the 'Ryan' Category
How to Use Typology with Social Anxiety
September 25th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
This is part 3 of a series of posts on typology and social anxiety. Part 1 explores the relationship between social anxiety and typology. Part 2 explores the particular connection between introversion and social anxiety. Part 3 will provide methods for exploring typology and applying it to the path of overcoming social anxiety.
In this post I offer a few steps to discovering your personality typology, along with engaging questions to help you reflect on the connection between your typology and your social anxiety. Please feel free to ask questions, seek clarification, and share your own opinions. In order to be concise I’ll have to leave some things unaddressed, but perhaps I can do an additional post. Read the rest of this entry »
Typology and Social Anxiety: Part 2 - SAD and Introversion
September 19th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
This is part 2 of a series of posts on typology and social anxiety. Part 1 explores the relationship between social anxiety and typology. Part 2 explores the particular connection between introversion and social anxiety. Part 3 provides methods for exploring typology and applying it to the path of overcoming social anxiety.
The best way that I can demonstrate the importance of typology in working with social anxiety is by using my own life as an example. I first learned that I was an introvert and embraced that fact long before I formally knew I experienced social anxiety. I remember feeling a huge sense of relief because I had long been resisting that part of me. Unfortunately, introversion is only recently being fully understood1, and our society still reacts to it as “shyness” or something abnormal. Which brings me to an important point: SAD and introversion can be easily confused, especially by a person with SA, as I should know. Read the rest of this entry »
- The Introvert Advantage is and excellent book on what introversion is and how introverts can take advantage of their own personality strengths, as well as how to live in an extrovert world [back]
Typology and Social Anxiety: Part 1
September 18th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
This is part one of a series of posts on typology and social anxiety. Part 1 explores the relationship between social anxiety and typology. Part 2 explores the particular connection between introversion and social anxiety. Part 3 provides methods for exploring typology and applying it to the path of overcoming social anxiety.
Exploring typology has tremendous pontential to help a person with social anxiety for at least two reasons:
- Typology is an inward journey, which is in contrast to the continual external focus that characterizes SAD.
- Typology is meant to validate one’s own natural personality. Often those with SAD will resist, even fight or grow to dislike their own personality traits (not always, but it seems prevalent). This is especially true with introverts as the difference between SAD and introversion is at first difficult to notice, particularly for those who are both introverts and struggle with SAD. Read the rest of this entry »
Existential Congruency and Social Anxiety
September 11th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
William’s post, “Social Anxiety in a Public Job“, reminded me of my own similar struggles with working in residence life, a profession involving a great deal of socializing. I responded in much the same way he did, which was to be an actor of sorts, and as with William it left me feeling very drained. It was even more pronounced as I could not easily separate the job and my personal life as the position of a residence hall director is not a 9-5 job, and for three out of the four years I lived right where I worked, in the hall.
Read the rest of this entry »
Deception of Plateauing in Social Anxiety
September 4th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
I’ve yet to overcome social anxiety completely, far from it. Yet, I have progressed a great deal and have reached a plateau where I generally experience anxiety around a 1-5 range, on a scale of 10, 99% of the time. However, in the last year I haven’t really been put into major situations that would really fire up my anxiety, but I am experiencing a lower level of anxiety in every day life. Read the rest of this entry »
Focus of Attention and Social Anxiety
August 28th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
In situations, individuals with social anxiety tend to focus more people then anything else. I observed this in myself today during one of my first class sessions for the semester. Of course, this is not a real surprise to those with SA but I find it helpful to notice how partial my attention is and how many other aspects of any given situation I could focus on. Read the rest of this entry »
Using Notecards as Cognitive Reminders
August 7th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke
One technique that has helped me tremendously is creating notecards that I carry around, particularly before and during more difficult situations. I don’t remember if I picked this up from the Social Anxiety Workbook, but what I do with them stems from a technique found in that book. One of the first things you do in the workbook is to identify your common thought patterns going through your mind when you experience social anxiety. That helps to show that you are not just “magically” have feelings, that they have roots, and that you can change them. Next you test them out for validity. Finally you create more accurate thoughts and conclusions.
So, I’ll tell you how this works for me. A common SAD thought I have is that I should be perfect in social situations. On my notecard I have, “It’s ok not to be perfect.” It seems so simple, but it actually helps me. Another example is that I really dislike feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, especially wondering if others will notice, which causes more anxiety. On my notecard I have, “Feeling anxious does not make me weird.” “Weird” is my projection when I am SAD-ing. I also have, “It won’t be the end of the world if I become anxious”, which is what it usually feels like. I have a lot of these little one-liners and I put them to test during my transition to Boulder and a new job, which was extremely hard on me in terms of SAD.
Have you tried anything like this? If so, what has been your experience? What other ways have you worked with your SAD thought patterns and conclusions?
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