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Archive for the 'Relationships' Category

Social Anxiety and the Holidays

November 20th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke

It’s that time of the year: the holidays. They mean different things to different people, but how about for us with social anxiety? I enjoy the holidays, family neuroses and all, but I notice that I can struggle a bit when I go home to visit family. Familiarity and routine is comforting to me. Although I obviously know my family well, I don’t spend much time with them because I live so far away. Switching up my environment and being around people I have not seen in a while has the potential to make me a bit anxious, on edge. I end up feeling more pressure to find something specific to talk about it. Also, Aimee’ and I are only children and have more attention put on us, particularly since we aren’t around very much. Of course there’s a lot of great things about holidays, but that’s some of the stuff that comes with having social anxiety for me. Also, this is the first time in four years that I’ll be home for Thanksgiving! I’ve always had to work:)

How are the holidays for you?

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Insulating Effect of Established Relationships

October 16th, 2006 by Ryan Oelke

It’s not news to say that those with social anxiety have difficulty and/or avoid starting relationships, but I believe this is even more pronounced when a person has one or more established relationships, whether that is an intimate relationship or a close friendship. The effect is a comfortable insulation from the anxieties of forming new and potentially meaningful relationships. I have noticed this in myself, in that if I have few satisfying relationships, I tend not to push myself to start new ones, even if I am truly interested. It’s certainly possible that a socially anxious person without relationships can be exteremely debilitating, but I also think that the relationships we do have can easily trick us into avoidance and deceptive contentment.

What has been your experience with this? What sort of feelings do you experience? Have you challenged yourself to change this tendency? If so, what methods do you find helpful?

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