Archive for the 'Aaron' Category
Confidence
February 22nd, 2007 by Aaron
I’ve long had this pattern where, staying up late into the night, I get excited about the possibilities of life. I think of all the great things I might do: people I could talk to, places I could go, goals I could achieve. Just anything. And then in the morning I wake up and know that all the dreams of the night before were foolishness. For the longest time I thought this was a normal thing, a pattern that must be familiar to everyone.
Now, finally, I am beginning to relate to it as anxiety.
Brief Update on Slow Motion Social Anxiety
February 8th, 2007 by Aaron
I went to the show I wrote about last week. And I wore the shirt. And, believe it or not, nothing happened. No one pointed and laughed. No one stared. Other western shirts were worn, though few as colorful and glorious as mine.
So, what is the lesson to learn?
Slow Motion Social Anxiety
February 1st, 2007 by Aaron
A few posts ago I wrote about how I believe there is an aspect of repressed excitement to my social anxiety. Just recently, this played out in a unique way. I was able to spot the pattern because it happened in slow motion.
There’s a concert coming up, one of my favorite artists. And there’s a shirt I recently purchased. I have a thing for retro-style western shirts. But they tend to be a bit… loud… flashy… colorful. And this one is of the more extravagant variety, similar to these examples (though, no, I was not lucky enough to pick up a Rockmount).
Distress and SAD
January 25th, 2007 by Aaron
About a week ago I got a rather nasty bout of food poisoning. It wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences, but it did illuminate a few interesting points about my social anxiety.
First, the choices I make about how to deal with my anxious feelings are often made when I am at my most desperate. Second, there are real and serious benefits to having established some distance on my social anxiety.
More on Writing to Cope
January 11th, 2007 by Aaron
After writing last week’s post, I decided to keep up with the writing practice and see where it took me. Each night since then I’ve set aside an hour to write on anxiety. As before, I wrote quickly, not allowing myself time to reflect on what I was writing.
It’s been an interesting experience.
Writing to Cope
January 4th, 2007 by Aaron
Feeling anxious from recent encounters, I tried something new the other night. Usually, I concentrate on reminding myself that the negative thoughts I have are learned and, most likely, inaccurate. This time I sat down with a laptop and tried to write out everything I was feeling.
I didn’t shy away from the negative. In fact, I indulged it. Usually, conscious of not wanting to seem to screwed up by anxiety, I try to appear, sound, and think of myself as reasonable. When I wrote, I decided I would write as unreasonably and unfairly and angrily as needed.
Generalized Anxiety
December 28th, 2006 by Aaron
I’ve been reading about Generalized Anxiety Disorder (found through the Social Anxiety Institute’s newsletter) and seeing how I have trouble with this as well as social anxiety. I’m not sure how the two interact. They seem similar. And if I dug in a bit, I bet a lot of the general anxiety I go through can be traced back to the fear of what various (sometimes very specific) people would think of me if they knew of my numerous failings.


