Confidence
February 22nd, 2007 by Aaron
I’ve long had this pattern where, staying up late into the night, I get excited about the possibilities of life. I think of all the great things I might do: people I could talk to, places I could go, goals I could achieve. Just anything. And then in the morning I wake up and know that all the dreams of the night before were foolishness. For the longest time I thought this was a normal thing, a pattern that must be familiar to everyone.
Now, finally, I am beginning to relate to it as anxiety.
I have moments when I am confident, when I feel good and capable. And at such moments I think I could do pretty much whatever I might like. By that I mean talk to people, try things without embarrassment, do whatever it is I want without immediately fearing how stupid it might make me look. And then I wake up the next morning, or a few hours go by, and there is that feeling of foolishness.
So how do I convince myself to listen during the confident moments? How do I remind myself that when I wake up feeling a fool those thoughts are not the truth?
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4 Responses to “Confidence”
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Jennifer Djordjevic wrote on 02/22/07 at 4:27 am :
Hi - you are not being foolish. Your confidence level is just down a bit. I have the same issues sometimes. But what you have to do is push through the uncomfortableness of your anxiety and do what it is that you think you can’t do. You’ll be amazed at how your confidence will begin to grow. This is how I conquered much of my anxiety. I have much more confidence and self-esteem now. Just remember how smart you are. Keep telling yourself that. You CAN do whatever you put your mind to. If it’s getting up in front of someone or going up to speak to a person. You CAN do it. Try it and see what happens. If you don’t try you’ll never know and you’ll continue to feel anxious and foolish. Good luck!
Aaron wrote on 02/27/07 at 1:37 am :
Jennifer:
Glad to hear you were able to push through to more confidence and self-esteem. I think it’s amazing to realize how impossible that feels when you’re in the middle of the doubt. But then, like you said, each time you push through, it gets better. There’s just something about being caught in anxiety that makes it so hard to hold on to that perspective. I do hande the flucations in confidence much better than I once did but I am amazed at the tanacity of the negative thoughts. Thanks for the comment.
Jennifer Djordjevic wrote on 02/27/07 at 7:07 am :
You are welcome! I know what you mean by being caught in the midst of it. I’ve had some trouble the last few days. Somehow I just seem to be more aware of my body and the symptoms that go along with the anxiety. It’s like a message that I need to slow down OR take that leap that I’ve been afraid to do. Much easier said than done though - as we well know.
Keep up the great work! Jenn
Craig wrote on 04/5/07 at 1:10 pm :
Hi, I just found this website and I see myself in almost all of the things you say. Off-topic, I tend to overcompensate and find myself doing everything I can to make sure whomever I am with is not bored… to the point of obsession. It’s weird. It’s like if they are bored, it’s my job to entertain them. I know that sounds silly.. but I can’t equate it to anything else.
I wondered if you might have experienced the same.