Writing to Cope
January 4th, 2007 by Aaron
Feeling anxious from recent encounters, I tried something new the other night. Usually, I concentrate on reminding myself that the negative thoughts I have are learned and, most likely, inaccurate. This time I sat down with a laptop and tried to write out everything I was feeling.
I didn’t shy away from the negative. In fact, I indulged it. Usually, conscious of not wanting to seem to screwed up by anxiety, I try to appear, sound, and think of myself as reasonable. When I wrote, I decided I would write as unreasonably and unfairly and angrily as needed.
I rambled all over the place. I wrote about the folks who inspired the current bit of anxiety. I wrote as if talking to those same people. I wrote to and about myself. I explored tangential fragments about where my anxiety comes from, what I do to hide it, why other people might not see it, how it is a burden, how it can be a gift. I wrote quickly enough that I didn’t have to time to second guess.
I wrote for about forty minutes, extending the time because I was really enjoying letting loose all of the darkest, angriest, saddest, weirdest thoughts I have about my anxiety. And by the time I was done I had calmed down. The tight feeling in my chest and the churning in my stomach had subsided.
I think one reason it worked so well is because it allowed me a way to take a step back and get some distance from such thoughts.
It’s definitely a practice I am going to try again, and perhaps make a regular part of dealing with anxiety. There was something very, very freeing in voicing all of the anxious thoughts that I usually try so hard to work with in a more constructive way.
Has anyone tried something similar? Did you have similar results?
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RobinAnn wrote on 01/14/07 at 5:51 pm :
I too have explored this place, it is a fantastic release for the negative energy stored within you which normally dissipates over an extended period and not always through memory denial… you might just kick your cat - certainly not what you had intended.
Aaron wrote on 01/16/07 at 1:05 pm :
Thanks for the comment. A release of energy is a great way to describe what I felt. And there is a fair amount of negative energy that gets stored up when dealing with anxiety.
Have you ever tried this as an extended practice over time? I’m curious if it’s something that might keep such energy in check long term.
Robin wrote on 01/7/08 at 11:14 pm :
Aaron - I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I didn’t bookmark your site, until now. Now I won’t ever lose you again!
I have been writing my negative thoughts since, well, high school. I never really gave it much thought until right now.
Looking back, I see a real evolution of the internalization. When I began, it was very choppy and not at all dissipated well. My writing progressed into poetry and then songwriting which I would take the negative energy, write it down and then use my anger as inspiration to the perfection of the writing technique.
I still do that today but I have also heightened it to another level where I become clear of, and with my emotions, and can let go of most of the anger/anxiety/emotion and then deal with the rest until finally it is all gone.
Some issues can linger for years, and I’d suggest continue writing and writing and writing because you will find ways to subdue, control or eliminate whatever troubles you.
Sincerely, Robin