Anxious Living

Personal Preferences vs. Social Anxiety Preferences

October 23rd, 2006 by Ryan Oelke

Here’s an exercise that I thought of, one that might help you differentiate what preferences are your personality, or related to your typology, and which are solely due to your experience of social anxiety, habits you’ve built over time. In my post on typology I suggested that over many years we can develop a confusion about what is us and what is your social anxiety alter ego, which causes us existential frustration and further anxiety.

One way to explore this is to take a piece of paper and on the left side, list vertically different areas and aspects of life, such as social gatherings, hobbies, physical environment, interests, etc. Divide the paper into two columns, labeling one “Personal Preferences” and the other “Social Anxiety Preferences”. In the personal column describe what is ideal from your own preferences, free from anxiety. In the social anxiety column describe what your anxiety wants in respect to those different areas of life. Take note of the differences and similarities between the two columns, your personal preferences and what you do when you are social anxious.

What realizations and feelings arise when you compare the two? What other areas could be listed?

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