The Joy of Small Victories
September 6th, 2006 by Aaron
I feel like taking a breather from picking apart SAD to point out a fringe benefit of being socially anxious.
Just the other night I was lucky enough to feel the thrill of a simple victory most would take for granted. And not only was it thrilling as it happened, but it allowed me to bask in good will towards myself for an entire evening.
And what miraculous event brought this on? I went to a gathering and introduced myself to someone that I’ve been hoping I could meet, for reasons involving my career.
Yeah, that was it.
I went to this event and saw this guy was there. He vaguely knows who I am because we’ve had contact through the office where I used to work. I was fairly deep into my usual response to such events: nervous, hovering in a corner, trying to keep the self-berating voice at bay, showing unnatural interest in the drink selection (while always sticking with water).
I thought about how I really should try to introduce myself to this guy. And I felt the usual fear, all the regular social anxiety stuff, but somehow I managed to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, I could engage in a long enough conversation with this guy (through the shared history involving my old job) that it would save me from feeling like I had failed to interact at this event.
Perhaps it was dangerously eggs-in-one-basket, but I figured if I could just hold this one conversation I could call the night a success.
So, surprisingly enough, I went over, introduced myself and did just that. And it worked. We talked for awhile and did all that networking stuff you’re supposed to do.
And then for the rest of the night I was just happy. One simple interaction handled smoothly was a tremendous boost to my confidence. One small moment of acceptance and I was full.
But even better than that, I saw how there is a way for me to hold my social anxiety a touch more lightly, to see humor in the games I must play with myself.
That insight brightened up the next couple of days.
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2 Responses to “The Joy of Small Victories”
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duff wrote on 09/8/06 at 1:18 pm :
Good stuff! Isn’t it amazing how much energy is released when one is courageous in the face of fear?
I wrote this on my planner the other day:
The presence of FEAR is an opportunity for COURAGE.
And courage leads to confidence, the very opposite of social anxiety.
Aaron wrote on 09/9/06 at 5:40 pm :
Thanks for the comment. I definately like that reminder. I certainly felt a surge of confidence after the moment described in the post.