I think that working with SAD (e.g. exposure, new behaviors, etc.) has to go with acceptance. I used to do, and still do on occasion, pure “pushing through” SAD, mainly before I knew what SAD was/is. I was very unforgiving of myself because I thought I was “emotionally/socially defective”. This was even more pronounced before I knew of the typology of introvert vs. extrovert, which actually validated what was geniune and authentic about my personality, nothing that was “wrong”. I also had the privilege of working with a supervisor in a department that validated and encouraged those differences. I think that’s important for introverts who also have SAD. For me, both realizing I am an introvert and that I struggle with SAD resulted in a LOT more acceptance of who I am in this moment. Accepting SAD allowed me to truly work with it and so I tend not to feel failure when I try to “push” myself. At least not failure on top of what is present with SAD by its very nature (if that makes sense).

However, I don’t think I’ve thought of simply practicing acceptance without challenging myself at the same time. I think that would be great to try….which would be a challenge itself!:P Just to go into a situation and say “Well, I’m anxious. So, what?” and not “do” anything about it.

Thanks for the comment. I’m glad the post resonated with you. Sorry not to get back to you sooner. Had my internet connection at home go out for a few days.

I enjoy sitting and listening to people talk also. But it’s often a struggle. I worry that people will notice I am just sitting there saying nothing and think me weird. It’s a relief when I’m able to allow myself to hang out without feeling that pressure.

That self-judgemental internal dialogue is very important part of SAD to be working with. I appreciated Duff’s post on what is normal for just this reason. It’s good to learn to think of SAD as not so big a deal.

I’ve been trying to accept my natural tendencies and giving myself permission to do one of two things at events: 1) if I’m incapable of forming a connection with others (known or unknown), either because the anxiety is too great or energies don’t vibe well for me, I go home and don’t let my inner critic accost me with “loser” accusations or the idea that I’m missing out on something; or 2) I let myself be a part of the event if the energy is good without feeling compelled to talk or interact as much as others. Sometimes I’m perfectly happy sitting on the couch, listening to others in my vicinity talk. I love listening to other people’s stories. I find my anxiety decreases when I give myself permission to just be present to whatever I’m feeling at the time.

How many of our “problems” would transform before our eyes if we stopped judging ourselves for our differences from the “norm” the same way we strive to stop judging those who are different from us?